Thursday, October 16, 2008
Between Shock, Life and Death.
8:09 PM
Yesterday I had one of the longest shock that I couldn't recover from lunch.
The after subject email addressed after the shock was 'Indigestion'. haha!
Nonetheless, I had fun during lunch.
We were discussing about how us and our friends grew older.
The taboo topic of sex wasn't that taboo when we were die hard fans of Sex and the City.
We have friends who would save themselves for marriage,
some who would succumb to temptations and others who just purely enjoy the "process".
I do have friends who are promiscuous that doesn't mean I love them any lesser.
Yet, i believe many who don't agree with what they are doing, they gradually drift these friends away or their friendship ends a way or another.
I don't agree at times too but I still feel it's their freedom of choice.
Who are we exactly to judge?
Of course, we have our own value system and certain things is a "Yes, we can do this" and "this is unquestionably wrong."
But when it comes to another emotional level, such boundaries get blurred.
People just change their minds, their hearts and their decisions.
I probably do judge inside me as well but I choose to value my friendship in a different way.
They may do what others think is being a bitch bullshit and bastard absurd.
But isn't it how the same friend is able to be there for you when you need her/him,
giving you the best company that he/she can, lending you an ear when you need it and just bring your friend (in your valued ways) that matters more?
To me, that indeed mattered more.
She/he can be a shitty partner but if she "delivers (or even above expectations)" perfectly in what you need in your "friend scope", isn't that sufficient to cover her/his flaws when it comes to other relationships?
Others might have differing views but I choose to firmly still believe in this.
----
Today, I attended the official 2nd funeral in my life.
Why I labeled it official because in my younger days I was still oblivious about what is going on about funerals and often accompanied with my parents.
My parents often forbade me to attend such functions as well.
(of course not that I am dying to go,
but I remembered wanting to go for Na's uncle's Funeral.
But according to my parents' religious beliefs, it was a must to not attend such functions in that particular year.)
Today, for the 2nd time I wasn't accompanied by my parents.
That particular year was not this year.
I'm in the eyes of the law, no longer a minority, I'm a supposed adult.
Strengthen by my own beliefs and coated with my own emotional and cognitive abilities.
When I saw my own sister in the traditional mourning gown I cant help but to feel a deepened type of sadness that is indescribable. Although I was not close to the deceased but I have definitely seen her a couple of times, greeted her and visited her at the hospital. And now, she has left.
When I saw the look on all their faces today, I could not hold any of my tears back either.
As we walked away, we each gave her a piece of our land sending her to her new belonging.
We boarded the bus back in a heavy rain with heavy hearts.
May you rest in peace, wherever you are.
Labels: friends, saying goodbyes, when u just need to blog
