27 Nov 1986.
Loves Tanning.
SMU BBM Student.
Not the average girl-next-door
A almost typical Sagittarius
For you to judge, not for me to say.
Speak
Its ok tht u made a mistake.
it ok u dint do it on purpose.
But its really not alright at all when u said " anyway its old alr".
Tell me how i am suppose to be ok abt tht?
i cant. i simply cant.
and its NOT the 1st time u lose stuff.
Worse, stuff tht the both of us own together.
yes. its old. it could haf even celebrated its own 1st birthdae.
but tht doesnt gif u an excuse for u to lose or replace it.
u were suppose to look for it. since u lost it.
Don make it sound lyk its my fault for losing it.
Its me being unreasonable, not understanding the pain tht u went thru looking for it.
thank u for all tht really.
half my heart just stopped beating for u.
although i wished it nv happened.
Don tell me anymore ppl's partners are leaving.
How upset they are and all.
Wad the point?
others don play a part as a partner, u said it. and now look wad happened?
Its always abt girls tht are not faithful? unreasonable? materialistic?
Its abt not-playing their part and taking things for granted...
i'm tired.
i noe this time, i'll not turn back.
i almost made up my mind tht time.
If i do this time, ther's nth else for me to hold back anymore.
Not everything could be bought and replaced.
i dun wan a new pc.
I DO NOT WAN!
It just lost its meaning. do u get it?
i even haf to spell it all out into ur face.
u still dun even noe why i was upset.
All u comprehended was me not understanding,
me getting angry over the fact tht u lost it.
i not even angry in the 1st place.
coz it just din hurt as much anymore.
it still does hurt a little this time round.
But really, not as much anymore.
rather, numb.
not angry nor sad nor disappointed.
tht's the saddest part.
sometimes i even feel tht u just need a companion for u to finish
tht awful 2 years rather den a partner or a girlfren.
Close frens ard me somehow or rather are oso hafing a rough time
wif their partners.
i tot my turn wouldnt come.
but it still did.
maybe wad jul said was right, straight lines really just don cross one another.
jie: good luck for ur last paper. i so noe u're gonne make it.
i love u so much still.
i noe these days we haven been toking much.
not tht i kept things frm u but sometimes,
but i'm just too tired to even tok abt it anymore.
or at other times, u were occupied.
i noe only u would understand.
yep.. Went wild wild wet wif kailing.
had a great time really.
ray's finally back! hurray!
and yes. the late queen did not come to skool again. despite tell me she'll attend
all lessons this week.
haiz. anyways, nisey got into our grp.
i've no complaint for my grp. though working wif new ppl. but i still look forward in working together wif them.
enjoyed reena's class.
i was sooo freaking late for the 1st tut in my entire attendence for all my tp tutorials.
damn it.
i must haf still tot i was slping in a sunday morning.
and when i got into the class everyone was lyk "wooo".
oh man. fine. its ok.
And accompany na till she went to wrk.
So glad we'll haf a chance to work together again.
Belle: glad u got ur grp alr. i hope everything will be fine for u my dear. work hard yea? loves*
hmm..
1st week of sool is so fun! love it love it love it!
gonna meet kailing in a while.
oh man.
i really dunno wad's up wif his head really?
i do not understand, y reconsider tht relationship and yet not doin smth to retain it..
F*** it really. men.. irritating.
well. its his loss if he gif it up.
i'm seeing her in awhile.
be back bloggin tonite. =)
i can't wait.
2.5 hr more..
lalalal..
waited lyk 1 year for todae to come. yayy!!
Belle finally went home.
i'm so glad.
Helped ard at the booth todae.
It was great seeing a bustling campus again.
Bitches still bitch.
lovers still hold hands.
frens hugged.
fashion parade still goes on.
Its great seeing na, cher, lena, peizhen, ave, shar chang n the rest.
ray:we missed u ard!
so glad all those hanging out at canteens and all are resuming.
love u guys.
still counting down. oh. geez.
llalaallaa..
my baobei is coming back!!
na: u had a great time wif her todaE? was great seeing u todae.
we'll go salad-ing any time u wan yep? loves*
cher: u silly ger. don worry abt the grping k. no matter wad, the 3 of us will be a terrfic team alr.. love bitching wif u in the LT. hehe..
belle: ger.. yes. face down n chanting helps yep? i just wan u 2 noe i love ya.
and i'll always be there for u. meanwhile, stay strong ok? call me anytime when u nit k? hugs*
Happy vesak dae everyone!
Hee. yep. tml is still a public holiday.
i dunno to be happy or sad.
Happy coz i still got one more day to enjoy my holidays
or another day away from seeing him.
Spoke over the phone last nite and landed up flooding half my pillow wif tears.
i'm just tired or not getting to see him for so long.
And its Always long weekends when others are all enjoying.
Or all together wif their partners.
Where's mine?
He's always just so near yet so far.
I can hear him adn tok to him but nv able to feel or hug someone tht i hold close to my heart.
It's been lyk one yr and 3 mths tht i'm spending such time wif him.
Even before tht the "honeymoon" period was abt 1 mth.
Tried asking the rest of my frens out.
they r either spending time wif their partners or they haf to wrk.
No matter how many frens i went out wif.
No matter how much fun i do enjoy wif them.
When i get back home "seeing" him ard,
i just longed for him.
i used to be the one consoling him.
telling him its alrite. its fine it almost 10 days.
Now, aft so many 10 days, i started to feel empty inside.
Or issit becoz i'm not quite occupied wif other things?
Maybe when skool starts it'll be beta.
coz i'll be full force into my projects.
On top of tt, no more other distractions or commitments in skool.
Thank god i still haf to cozy home to keep me warm inside out.
Met up wif my sec skool frens last nite.
hee. had some fun!
went cartel to makan.
i bought a two way bikini as well.. so happy.
Most importantly, i finally got to meet kailing. hee.
went to shop ard. and went to countless fitting rooms.
i hope my pay is coming. i'm so broke.
Yes. i still miss darl.
Timetable is out but i doubt i'll join back intsentive training back at cheer.
i heard things din turn out good on th 19th.
i still love to cheer.
But really. i don feel i belong ther anymore.
Things and ppl are just all diff.
How i wish Seniors are still ard.
thinking back i actually miss them.
Eunice went over to melb to study. msg her on friendster though.
Hope things turn out well for her.
Some pictures we took!!
Tada!! good gers all finish up their food!!
Huiling and me!
The cozy side!!
JUst right opp cartel. see the reflection??
Walked over to esplanade!
WHeee..
Met the gurls (ray, cher, na, lena & ash) on wed.
Chilled at brewerks and indochine at riverside point.
Ladies nite but ther wasnt crowd..
COool place.
But too bad it was kinda early tht they were closing. (brewerks)
Had some alt beer wif cher.
Quite nice though.
While na drowned in sprite and lena& ray wif some golden alt beer i tink.
Was kinda bloated aft tht.
i nv really lyked beer. But it tasted some how better for tht cup.
When i finished it, i burped super loudly and deep in the toilet. hee.
Den went over to indo chine and took sooo much pics which till now i've yet to recieve any.
I WAN PICTURES!! na and cher!!!!!
Both of them were not free to send them to me last nite as well.
We actually did smth really notty ther. hahaha.. enjoyed myslef so much. i din noe y
still went ahead to the 201 kopitiam aft tht. coz tht really coz me deep shit at home.
Stayin out late and walking back myself.
And i din go to skool bcoz of tht.
i shld haf jus gone home in tht merc cab really.
i've got nagging and scolding all dae. esp when i'm not going out todae.
Thank god darl was waken up by me ard 4.20am? hee. we chatted till i got home
and continued till 5 plus so he went for breakfast at his camp's canteen.
oh wells. i miss darl. lyk? i still gotta wait till tues nite?
i just simply cant comprehend WHY every single time ther's a long weekend or
a PUBLIC HOLIDAY, he's always down wif standbys.
Yes. standbys which i wont get to see him lyk wad? 10 days?
arrghhs. damn it. Ever since last new year (31st dec) till now just ALL the public holidays
he just nv get to enjoy any.
so do i.
=(
mmm.. I'm all alone back at home now.
bahh. bored.
Looking forward meeting fun bunch.
Ray's going China and hafing cramps together wif me. hee.
Meeting up Na at her working place together wif cher.
Its sooo fun hafing them ard.
i wonder how belle is doing.
hope evrything is fine. of coz it would be best if her parents would ask her
go home.
i miss darl alr.
i'm so sorry for being so lazy on the diary i was suppose to do for u.
tues still seems so far away.
Sip self sercuring seems lyk its not going to happen for me.
omg. i'm still searching though.
Meeting my sec skool frens this fri.
Most importantly, getting to meet kailing. oh man..
i miss her!
2ml morning still gotta go back skool.
Blazers performing.
i'm their photographer for the dae. wells.
i hope i wont be late.
'coz i'd expect myslef late home tonite.
Will be back blogging tml nite i guess wif loads of pictures frm tonite!! till den!
Went OVer to KBOX ytd. 2 KBOX in fact.
Had loads of fun till in the end.
Ended up unhappy.
Oh wells. Don wish to tok abt it anymore.
I IN 3M03! ANY MARKETING PEEPS OUT THER??
Same class?
So far cheryl and ray r wif me.
Hee.. yayyy!!
But i'm kinda sad tht Na isnt e same class.
I'll miss working wif her.
Sundae was my dad's bdae. went over to crustal jade to makan..
Kinda nice.
Went back to sony gallery to work over the week end.
PSP were selling lyk hot cakes!!
When i read the write up on the paper..
instead of PSP(playstation portable) its pocket size perfection.
Wow. isnt it cool?
Of corse it has its pros and cons.
Well if i had the money i might get it too..
Which initailly i tot i wouldnt be crazy over such gadgets.
But it did impressed me wif its features.
At the same time got to meet up fun bunch at fisherman.
Yep.. the rain was really a spoiler but the company was still great.
gonna meet them up again tml! whee!!
Went to sentosa on sat 2 weeks ago.
u wont believe it.
Darl and me caught wondersful sea creatures. small ones.
Fishes in different shapes & colours
And sea horses too!!!
The vodka bottle we found to contain them! (see the stripped fish?)
Mini seahorse!!
Tada! Together wif the bdae boy!
Our angel! My "mum"
Went Back to skool todae.
Met eliza and ming.
It's been so long since i met them. missed them though.
Finally everything is restored.
I'm so glad.
Mondae i'll join them for the notice board re-vamp!
Hopefully the tok tht they held with them went well.
Sorry. But certain times things tht they do really put me off.
But eventually i still hope the big family can get along and stay united.
Not in small grps whispering the new updates of shows or in malay.
Nothing against the race. Coz i've got great frens tht r malay. Lyk Nur and Aisha.
I'm so happy tht this sat fun bunch is going to meet again! cant wait. would haf so much fun!!
Will take and update pictures!
Nur:Great seeing u ytd. this sat must come along k. miss ya!
My world is finally back on track wif everything flourished.
My darl
My cheer mates
My fun bunch.
My skool.
My dad coming back todae.
My life.
=D
Belle: If u are reading this, Pls take care of urself. Pls call me. i'm worried for you. i miss u as well.
I dunno wad exactly happened and i noe u wanna be alone. Take some time for urself. But i wan u to noe tht u're NOT ALONE. I'm always here for you. to care and love u as my beloved fren. Call me anytime u're ready. Not rushing u. Hugs*
My frens: Sorry tht i din blog for so long.
Was working almost 10 to 10 everydae last week. too tired.
I'm back! No more job. MOre slp. More BLOGGING!
Mm.. Back to my last entry..
Aft much thoughts.
The last shot was given.
Not putting any hopes in it.
I'll just do my part.
I seriously tot of giving up the last shot while thinking thru.
Photos removed.
Stuffs were all kept in the small cupboard.
Askin myself can i really do without him?
For the couple of days. i couldnt.
Aft which i noe its only time tht i needed.
Aft wad "mum" told me. i really felt mine was just a tiny little route
i've to take. Nth compared to hers.
So even if i took away the last shot
i noe i Will be still able 2 make it till the end.
Its just hell lots of time needed to heal and
i'll be tht Shar tht all of my frens noe again.
But tht very dae when i heard the voicemail.
i cant help but cry so hard.
My heart ached so bad when muffled words were heard.
Looking at the minuses.
It all seem i should try to accept.
Not keep finding faults.
I noe this time it might still not work out.
But alr told myslef.
If its meant to be it would be.
If not, cry. stop.over.
Maybe i wont even cry anymore.
It's been a few daes till now.
Everything still seems acceptable.
My cards are laid.
I hope he'll stick to it.
to wad he siad and not promises.
Coz i'm so sick of promises.
They r meant to be kept.
But i noe some or crucial ones weren't delievered.
Wadeva it is.
Although some of the stabbing in my heart will nv be gone,
but i hope blood still flows,
i'm still able to breathe.
Pls. No more of those.
Esp tht two things i've told u not to repeat.
Coz if u do, the last simply wont lasts it would stop.