My blog, My life.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Unbelievable 9:02 AM

I still can't quite digest what happened to me the entire day yesterday.
Even before i woke up.

I never thought i would blog when i open my eyes today but i know its been wanting to be published since yesterday. But i was too busy and tired over all the crap shit i was going thru.
Which i never once deserved.

I wanted to jump up and down and BITCH her back till all my inner venom is out.
But kat was right.
I shouldn't go that low like her.

YOU, of all people i trusted was a pure disappointment.
Perhaps u're being watched that you can't read here anymore.
But really, i never eva thought a girl that u barely knew can take you over like this.

I knew you for years. YEARS!
And you could just sit back and allow all of this to happen.
Is the frenship that fucking vulnerable that u can't doing anything about it?

Is a "feeble" woman worth everything we built over the years?
Have you now seen this hysterical and bloody scary sight of hers?
Or do you still think u are all out for love?
life is a torture without her? So in love with someone like this?
No matter how much i want to try to defend you, i cant think of another reason why u have to repeat what happen in the morning happen again in the afternoon. Except for you willingly be a puppet and breaking a promise you made.

How could a man be so infirm bout things?
i looked upon you as a confidant, a best friend.
I let you in the comfort zone where only pals can come into.
i often try to be there for you when u needed some one. (recall: when u wanted someone to speak to at the start of things?)
I let you even interact with my family.
And to think they were so positive about you, often singing praises about you.
Even made another friendship outta it and that u became important enough to be a distinguished guest and significant role for the upcoming occasion.

HOW CAN YOU do this NOW!
HOW? i can't comprehend.

Isn't love about trust and faith in order for it to be long term (as you wanted)?
Isn't being in a relationship, not only u can be happy but also being able to trust ur partner, being able to allow your partner to trust and be friends with people whom u trust too?

i wanted to meet her on top of everyone else.
Was i even given that chance to?
No.
Let alone getting to see or "seduce" you?

Seriously, its so fucking unfair.
Worse, you allow her to keep on saying or thinking about such things about your good friend.
What has become of you?
i never knew you like this.
Have u seriously read the things she typed?
Not only to me but also to my sis?

Have u ever thought about it?
How much it takes be irrational to do this?
Eventually, shes gonna take control of every thing in your life, can u see that already?
It pains me to lose my good friend.
It pains me even more to know that our friendship over the years is being ruined by someone whom i did not even get to meet and is low and filthy with her words and you choose to let go of me as a friend rather than that someone being hysterical, plain mad and you barely know (now).

Do u still think u understand her that well?

Can you see this side of her now?
This side that i told you to took some time to get to know.
And not skip and dive into a relationship like this?

You still want her, on top of everything else.
Want to listen to her.
Want to do everything she ask you to do.

And continuing letting her being a coward who can only hide beside a speaker phone to dictate you? Gather all the strength and breath to sms such stuff, scream over the phone, be all mighty and big to initiate things and lose it all when its time?

You think its tragic.
i think its pathetic.
If its that tragic she should be in the hospital not in your room.
Perhaps admitted to A&E and then to the psychological wards where she could be treated for excessive paranoia.
She was like this the last time isnt it?

And then she got well again rite?
Perhaps that guy left because he saw this side of her.

All these just simply shows :

i was right about her right from the start when i warned you about her (can we even mentioned that she's engaged and who's being the bitch now?)
Why do we need to be sensitive bout her nationality when she doesn't wee bit feel ashamed bout what she messaged? (in fact, being so firm when she shrieking and stop breathing when she's not and when she was the one who asked to meet)
a person can totally change under circumstances one can control ( being a man especially)
perhaps things will never be the same again for the both of us.
i will never forget this girl that you met.
How much my family and my bf dotes on me .

Miss lala: still want to thank you for everything. love ya. =D

Labels: Enraged, when u just need to blog

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Weekend passes by too fast. 11:36 PM

and i mean way too fast. Its gonna be the whole week of the routine sick in the stomach school regime. Too be very frank, i thought this semester would be so much better. But i guess i was wrong. I challenge myself everyday to see it in a different perspective. Yet it often brings me back to square one. Mugging the textbook yet not being able to handle the questions or even understand it really gets into you. That level of depression is really horrible. Okay. School aside. (i realised it always urges me the need to blog due to school)

Friday Kat and i went to the Diana Ser's talk remember?

She's really pleasant both audio-visual-ly! lol*
Very nicely paced talk.
Though i felt certain things that she mentioned about were pretty much branding concepts
just that i've learnt it back in TP days where we applied in for companies. (see! Marketing rocks! hahaha!)

I think she provided a really good perspective and many examples from her life stories.
i loved that Get REAL! program she hosted.
She constantly pushed herself to the limits for that program - where she says that is how much her passion has drove her to.

Motivated us to think of your future "branding" for yourself.
So if u were to ask me what my passion and my interest is at,
i'd still tell you its marketing, its making/seeing creative advertisements.

I had never once had 2nd thoughts of how much i like advertisements, branding, marketing related activities. That i definitely call it a passion.
The creativity in an advertisement takes a hell lot of brain cells away,
and its amazing how much it can affect/persuade a consumer's decision within just
30-45 seconds.

I think its super brainy and creative when you become able to transform a tacky image/brand into some almighty classy image being thought of by others. A jingle or a tagline that gets everyone talking(remembering) all ur effort u pumped in.

Thats what i wanna do, thats the job i know i will love to do everyday.
Like how diana ser is driven and passionate bout her job.

But seriously, management science and finance isn't even near what i was talking about.
So why did force us to take it even? argh! Ok. i better don't get started.
Oh yes! And saturday night was My bondue group freshies so called gathering.

And initially was just me and Janice that appeared.
Some were sick (i bet its the smu stress virus) ,
some can only come later,
the rest just vanished for no/invalid reason.
Basket. Seriously! they were so on bout it over the mass emails sent.
Luckily i wasnt the one organising.
hehe. But still i think Janice's initiative was really commendable. :)
She laughs like me i think, in terms of volume and pitch. haha.

That poor girl told me she broke down in week #2.
Really. i SO understand.
But when it was my time i hung on till bout week #7 and it was really devastating.

We had fun still, with the combination of late/ unshowered / cranky of attendees.
Baby joined us later that night.
We went brewerkz. :)

The crazy 18 year old who finishes one mug of beer in 3 seconds.

Then i finally caught Ratatouille with Miss lala, Jav and Baby.
The Rat is cute to the max pls. haha.

And today, accompanied Miss lala to her wedding gown fitting again.
Woot!
She was really beautiful!!!!
When the lady took the veil and put on her head,
it hit me really hard this time, this is really happening, my dearest sister is gonna get married. With those wedding bell songs, her whole bride aura all casted upon me.
And i think it would such lovely moment to see the real day.
So much so i tink i will cry more than my mum. haha.

Miss lala: i love you so much! So happy for your wedding. :)))

Little princess Chloe was there too. Shes so adorable! Especially with the little tummy after lunch. hurr!

Her Mummy in the background.

Labels: the week-ENDS, updates, when u just need to blog

Friday, September 07, 2007

Help. 2:25 PM

the girl inside is crying.

Shes fighting back her tears,
only want to be happy and carefree.

Only want to be a role of a student, daughter and gf well.

God, is that too much tt she is asking for?

She forgot how she could heartily smile anymore.

Labels: help

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Week three 11:13 PM

commenced for me this week on monday.

Instead of the usual tuesdays, and its gonna be this way thru out i guess.
My lovely MS mates are pretty nice and smart and am very thankful for that especially with their patience when teaching and guiding me along. :)

Professors are not too kind if they have forgotten to upload slides before lesson,
worse if they don't even do so.

Its really hard to look at the computer and listen to what he/she is talking about.

Way too distracting in so many ways.

Went to Comex over the weekend,
Jav got his lappy,
Went to disturb Miss lala at her booth,
baby got his Memory stick for his next gf named Miss PSP,
i've got an extra ink cartridge and after two months of long wait to get a new
pocket hard disk, i decided on Ranger all over again, with a nice shade of blood red casing
which i think its considerably unique and reliable - and for tht premium pricing i paid for.

This week is also the first week and first time in my life i gave tuition.
My tutee, a rather pretty little girl,
primary three (9years old?),
looks like a little princess from precious moments series.
The only difference?
Her hair is all over the place. haha.
Signature move: Scratch head when she doesn't know how to answer a question.
First lesson perhaps its still little distant.
But i'd do my best to help her.

Doesnt really help when u force urself to study things that doesnt interest you.
or can i even say hate?
As much as developing a diversified student, i still think certain shit they make you study is not gonna be applicable in my career next time.
Or perhaps its still early for me to say.

Next week's SMUX ta ka qia event,
its a night cycling event organised by one of the many CCAs in school.
Many asked me, "Eh, sharon, what CCA are u in?"
I'd say "NIL - and its fun."

Haha. i still do love cheerleading but if u ask me to join my school's one i rather not.
Too bimbotic , too lil guys/ proper trainer , too stuck up, just way too chui to join.
The rest, although i really wished i could be part of them .

I rather opt that time to perhaps catch up with my friends, go gym on my own or whatever.
Like yesterday, some aft school fun made me happier and lighter with the school burden i am carrying. Thank you too! You never fail to make me laugh like a mad woman when we roam the streets. Doesnt really matter if we get any shopping bags, Coz we would still have a wonderful time together. =)

I fell in love with a new drink: mogu mogu!
Its really nice! Especially in the mango flavour,
ok. i decided to be courageous and try another new flavour today.
Strawberry! And it taste like the strawberry LION toothpaste we brush our teeth with when we were younger. haha. Nonetheless, i like the nata de coco inside.
Recommended by: kat!

Come friday, both of us are going for the workshop by Diana Ser in school
Hope to benefit from it.
i guess it would be good for FT in the coming semester.

PMS period is making its entrance to me.
i suddenly feel like a little child, wanna cry at the slightest thing, feelin stressed easily.
Argh.
I'm not giving up. I just keep singing little star!

I miss xiaohui aka the evening Griselda.
it seemed years since i saw her and talk so much, pig out at her place and watch dvds or swimming together with cher and head for dinner together.
I miss those times.

Miss lala's ROM's nearing too.
So is baby's ORD.
I can't wait.

Now on my repeat playing list:

我有你真好

Below's some survey my prof asked us to do in class:
Hmm. frankly, its pretty much what i am. Hurr.
-------------------------------------------------

• Welcome to VALS™
• The VALS™ Types
• More about VALS™
• Program Brochures

• VALS™ Survey
• Survey Help / VALS™ FAQ
• Publications

Experiencer/Achiever

Your primary VALS type is Experiencer, and your secondary type is Achiever.

The primary VALS type represents your dominant approach to life. The secondary classification represents a particular emphasis you give to your dominant approach.

Experiencers are motivated by self-expression. As young, enthusiastic, and impulsive consumers, Experiencers quickly become enthusiastic about new possibilities but are equally quick to cool. They seek variety and excitement, savoring the new, the offbeat, and the risky. Their energy finds an outlet in exercise, sports, outdoor recreation, and social activities.

Experiencers are avid consumers and spend a comparatively high proportion of their income on fashion, entertainment, and socializing. Their purchases reflect the emphasis they place on looking good and having "cool" stuff.

Achievers

Motivated by the desire for achievement, Achievers have goal-oriented lifestyles and a deep commitment to career and family. Their social lives reflect this focus and are structured around family, their place of worship, and work. Achievers live conventional lives, are politically conservative, and respect authority and the status quo. They value consensus, predictability, and stability over risk, intimacy, and self-discovery.

With many wants and needs, Achievers are active in the consumer marketplace. Image is important to Achievers; they favor established, prestige products and services that demonstrate success to their peers. Because of their busy lives, they are often interested in a variety of time-saving devices.

Labels: updates