Woo..
12:30 PM
So much for a happy ending.
12:40 PM
It really din jus rain, it pour lyk a storm.
2:17 PM
Cant believe wad i jus heard frm my "mum". i cant believed it. i saw tears almost rolling out of her eyes. my heart ached lyk mad.
How jus can a brother do this? a blood brother. i'm speechless neither do i wanna spell out everything i hear. unbelievable. i nv knew things would turn out till this extent.
"mum": do take care of urself. lyk ter, i wouldnt acknowledge him as well. Nv knew he could actually tried to lay a finger on u.
i really hate him. hate. i noe its tiring to hate but i really do towards him. i knew him as a loving one, someone who dotes me lyk a little gurl. to tink tht he actually had done all these. i jus feel so hard to swallow all these down. Why? juz y do u haf to do all these? aren't everyone here your family? aren't we? u're causing grand papa to feel so tensed up at home, frequent tummy aches n visits to the toilet? he's ur dad! do u feel good? He's so anxious n yet, he loves both his sons and daughter.
Caught in a dilema. Cant believe the amount of stress instilled in him each dae when he face all of u. the 4 of u. To the youngest in e fam: u r the utlimately totally horrible and ridiculous person i've eva seen. jus get ur arse out of this whole shit. u jus completely complicate matters up. totally. Jus let my grand parents sleep peacefully will u?
i dunno y all this haf to happen. in the 1st place, it was U tht wanted him to leave, it was U tht cheated on ur own dad. It was U din want to pay, it was U tht u wanted us to land up in court, it was U. U! right frm the start. U. everything was U. i hate u! i really do, to the core. BOth of u and the rest.
Just when will this pour stop?
I din blog for so long coz i was quite occupied these daes.
- Went to rouge on 12th mar
- great music on the whole
- loves "ms geek magnet" aka belle!
- Fell in love wif clubbing once again
- darl came back n had so much days of off.
- Went kbox wif her sis had so much fun
- orchard to shop n collected our pendant
- watched HITCH. haha. good show.
- went sentosa & the southern-most point of asia together
- had a great time
- i love u darl! always will.
- Tht tupid mei, brought me tremendous work.
- So eager to see my shoes, hope it turns out good
- miss my sis. i love ya too!
- i love mum, dad, sis, "mum" & darling. cant live without them.
- 29th to work wif na. yay!
Na: i miss chillin out wif u. i'm as disgusted tot tht matter. pukes* and yes. both deserves no mind space nor energy frm us but a million and one slaps to make them spin lyk mad cows. hahaha.. bleahs* hugs u tite tite*
Jie: i miss u. seems lyk eveytime i'm in u're out. we're out n u guys r in. just wanna tell ya tht i love u. miss hafing long chats wif u. study hard for ur exams ok? i noe u can do it. loves*
Darl: thank u sooo much for making all these daes so happy. i'm really delighted to haf to hold u in my arms again. to spend every moment wif u is life's greatest pleasure. thank u for loving me still. i noe i will miss u so much again. i'm sorry for being too emotional at times, i din mean to raise my voice at u. i jus cant ctrl my emotions at times. i promise to learn and manage them to my v best. i love you wif every beat of my heart!
Aveline: Sweetie! the video was totalllllllyyyy swwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweet to the max. thank u for creating it. Will be waiting for more to come! tsk tsk. And frens are frens foreva... frens will not sae never... thanks ave! hugs*
hi my darlings. thank u thank u thank u, for caring, consoling, tagging, hugging me aft wad happened in the last entry. i wanna thank everyone of u frm the bottom of my heart, darling baobei, miss lala, na, nur, ave, kiak, ling, cheryl, sharon, etc. i love n appreciate every single one of u.
this morning was disatrous, water based shit agian. three times. my crm presentation was @10.20am and at 9.45 i was still in the toilet for the 3rd time. damn it. mum asked me not to go skool n there's no way i'm gonna do tht even if i haf to stay till the 5th time. was even doing my mk up when i was on the toilet bowl. oh man..
but the time i rushed to skool, it was 10.05am. before i went skool, i msg them i would be late. initally the 1st time i sent the 1st msg, then the 3rd time i sent another 2 more msgs syain tht i was hafin diahorea. smth tht made me v upset, "wah. u really one and a half hrs late." of everyone, i nv eva expect it coming frm her. i was totally upset, shocked n i said " i diahorea can? 3 times can?" sorry, i think i over-reacted. but i was alr damn flustered tht i was late. instead of helpin, i heard tht, it juz worsen the whole thing. i feel even more mang chang. and of all ppl, it was my best partner. best, n i mean really best partner. i mean, tht really din help at all at tht point of time. =s den ran here n ther for a comp when i couldnt find a comp to read the report again and no q-cards.
while searching for a comp i almost broke down into tears. and when i found one it juz couldnt read the thumb drive. when i finally printed stuff i wanted n read it brieftly it was 10.30am. saw sharon chang, hugged and this time when she asked"u ok? wad happened to u?" den i realised actually my face has showed it all. i started tearing. n my hair was in a mess. den come cheryl askin me the same thing n there it was bursting all out.
Den told myself, pull urself together u can do this. went to the toilet, tied my hair n cleaned my red nose n eyes. the presentation i tot on the other hand was the best for me so far coz i really din stumbled on my wrds n used no q cards at all. Miss ng seems good abt it. i really hope she was coz so far the rest of the grp, she commented almost everyone "good, v good." she actually still said it was well prepared. wahaha. n the slides were well done. i noe coz all along i tot so. good job dear!
To my best partner: thank u so much so stayin up late all dayzz wif me completing all of them. but i really muz tk this opp to tell u some things tht i've been hiding frm u.
actually, ther were times tht i was hurt by wad u said. or mayb u felt i deserved it. but i really nit to tell u openly. i dunno how else but i actually told cheryl n sharon todae. tht explains wad i told u on msn todae. i dunno if u rmbr there was once u said "asshole" straight into my face n was really unhappy on a few occasions or juz bad mood or stressed up tht u said certain things tht really hit me. sometimes, we luff it away. yes, but sometimes it hit me kinda bad. when i got home n tot abt it, got quite dejected n demoralised abt myself. tht i sometimes couldnt achieve wad u wanted or u tot i would noe abt certain tings tht i actually don n i asked.
i mean i can really understand on some occasions u r really pek cek n stressed up which explains ur mood or tone. but juz hope to share these i had all along wif you. i still love u as much. thank u so much for listening, pasta-mania-ing, bitching, loving, writing cards to me, doing such nice slide shows and photo-taking wif me. i love ya. really do still. i hope we'll work again in the near future. hugs*
